A few weeks ago there was a documentary about birthmothers on TV. I wasn’t going to watch, but somehow did watch a few minutes just to see how it was. The show followed three expectant mothers who had chosen to place their babies for adoption. It was interesting to see how these expectant mothers bonded together, how they made their decision and their hospital experience. In the documentary, the hopeful adoptive parents and the expectant mother were separate. They didn’t seem to spend any time together.
Our experience was very different. We got the call to come to the hospital at 5:00 am July 14 and were there by about 6ish. We went into K’s room where she was resting (the medication had just kicked in). We were in and out as different doctors came in and privacy was needed. Things were progressing nicely (according to a nurse) and by 9:30 Jake was out in the waiting room and the baby was on his way. Alex was born at 10:30 am. I am so grateful and honored that K and her mom allowed me to be there. Jake and I spent the next 2 and a half days hanging out in K’s room with her family and the baby. We all took turns holding him, feeding him and changing his diaper. The hospital found a room for Jake and me so we were able to stay Saturday and Sunday night.
|Jake holding Alex for the first time!|
It was wonderful to meet K’s brothers and sisters and spend time with them. We were able to look at the baby and see who he looked like. Did he have K’s eyes or one of her siblings? Was his temperament like her or one of her siblings? It was a wonderful time.
I was really nervous about Monday and signing the papers. I wasn’t sure how it would go- or how K would feel and react to it all. Her whole family was there with her when she signed the paperwork. There was such a feeling of support in the room. It was wonderful.
In the documentary, the girls placing their babies were in a room alone with a caseworker to sign the papers. All three were very emotional and I felt so bad that these young mothers were alone at such a time. For us, our lawyer talked to K first and then came to get us for our part at the end. He left and we thanked K, gave her our gift and since K was being checked out told her and her family to take all the time with the baby they needed and wanted.
Our experience was so much better – not easier but K had so much support. It was an emotional day but a day filled with happiness and some sadness. When K left she looked gorgeous. She was absolutely glowing and we made plans to see them again.
|Getting ready to go home!|