I have had several thoughts swirling in my head lately. I have been thinking about openness, birthparents and persistence.
The one thought that keeps coming back to me is when people say-“I don’t know how you do it. I could never go through that.” We have all heard it and I know I have said it. But when things happen that are tough, don’t most people step up and do what needs to be done?
I remember about three years ago, we went to eat Thanksgiving dinner with my parents. My mom had invited several people from their Ward (LDS church congregation), some Jake and I knew and a couple people we didn’t. Somehow we got talking about needles. (Still not sure how that happened but anyway. . .) One of the ladies is diabetic and has been giving herself insulin for a long time. Another lady said “Well, I hate needles. I could never do that!” and she said it many times. I kept thinking- really? When faced with a choice between dying and a needle you are going to pick dying? We even asked her what she would do if she became diabetic- she really didn’t have an answer.
I was about to start fertility treatments and I knew that needles were involved. I am not scared of needles but when I have to stick myself. . .let me just say it wasn’t my favorite thing to do but you do what you have to do when it needs to be done.
Lots of people are going through tough things- failed placements, expectant mothers who choose to parent (or choose another family), financial issues, underemployment, sickness and a host of other problems. When it comes to tough times, you do what you have to do. Many times there really isn’t a choice. We have all heard “quitters never win and winners never quit”- but in the middle of the trial, I really want the trial to be over- quitting looks pretty good (and lots of times it really isn’t about winning or quitting) because the trial will be over. Some days the trial is easier to deal with and other days you pray that you can learn whatever you need to and do it quick.
I think people are really trying to say "I admire your courage during these tough times." Or they might be trying to say "I am sorry you have to go through this."
So let me end with this- If you are going through though times – I am sorry you have to go through this and I genuinely hope things are better soon!